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Who ever said that geeks are smelly, fat and mum's basement dwelling men?


I am sure these teams would make world cup more interesting:
Are those legs for real?

The power of advertising?

With the world cup of soccer underway, I am intrigued by the economics of this huge undertaking. I was struck by the fact all the advertisements on the sideboards are by multi-billion dollar corporations and they are mostly American. For a second I thought, why are these American companies advertising on a world stage?

Being bit slow, slowly I realised that most of the audience of the world cup will be in the third world (South America, Africa and Asia), where McDonald's can sell its healthy fare and Coca-Cola can wash them down with their sugary syrups.

All most all the first world corporations have realised that they have saturated their markets. My favourite, McDonald's have disclosed that they couldn't supersize their profits anymore. They figured that, the only way they could satiate their share holders' hunger for more calories oops dollars is to expand into the developing world. What's a better way than to advertise in this mega event where every self respecting 12 year old soccer player would be parked before the TV set?

Capitalists amongsts us would say, "what's wrong with doing business and making a few bucks?" Read on my fellow capitalists:

FIFA also wants to make sure it has tight control over the 12 official fan festivals in the host cities. Because Coca-Cola is one of the four major sponsors of the fan festivals, even milk became a hotly contested issue for some time. The soft drink maker had secured exclusivity for the entire beverage category, which covers just about anything liquid, except soups, tap water and non-alcoholic beer.

After lengthy negotiations, the US corporate giant magnanimously (emphasis mine) agreed to allow "non-flavored milk beverages" -- in plain language, cows' milk. However, FIFA and Coca-Cola will have the final say on the "branding" of that flavor-free cows' milk.

After reading that, I would'nt able to see the world cup and drink Coke without feeling guilty! Well, on the other hand watching world cup Cricket sponsored by Burger King and drinking Pepsi is still Kosher.

Job Satisfaction?

On my sister's blog, her friend left the following comment, which I think was interesting. This is what he said:

Think about it. Your first job, your mind was open, open to new challenges, people and your courage level was high.
How do we maintain the same energy throughout? That is what we need to think. I would like to see your thoughts as well on the same. I always try to get into that energy mode everyday and believe me sometimes it works.
Lets say, if you had to feel the same things, you felt, when you got your first job, when you prepared everyday for the classes, when you faced that panel of old professors everyday what would you have to do?
The answer to this would be very interesting in my opinion.
Would like to see a blog from your on this topic.

.

Time for a full disclosure: I haven't had a real job till now, I am still avoiding the real scorch sipping beer (pun intended) in the shade of Grad school.

Well having said that, here are my two cents: Why would anyone lose interest in her job, if that's what she wants to do? Suppose I am really interested, in fact I am very, in being the scientific Officer on Star Ship Enterprise, would I hate to wake up every morning to go and sit in those kick-ass chairs on the bridge? Would I curse my existence when ever Captain sends me on an away-mission? What do think? I would tuck my tricorder and phaser tight in my stretch pants and scream "Beam me down Scotty"

Would I do the same if I end up flipping cow parts on a gas grill in NoWhereVille? I would hate my existence every ****ing day. I would want that nose-driping-Coke-sipping-fries-munching Joe Noone to grill my parts on the grill!

This is what I don't understand, why do people stick with the jobs they don't like? Well, if it's cause you want to keep the stomach juices churning, then may be you shouldn't complain. If you are, probably, you know...., I should stop now, all you folk are smart!

I should go back to my beer sipping and Star trek fantasising. You guys should get back to the rut you are in.

A Kiss controversy

I have been waiting for this to happen, and it happened. I was about to think that Indian society is not as stupid as I thought it would be. Well, I have been proven wrong again, not surprisingly, both for me and for India.

No, I am not upset about a good for nothing singer, leeching on his brother's fame, kissing a nude tramp! I would be really happy if all the leeches kiss all the tramps and go and jump off the cliff, for all I care. What gets my goat is the 24 hour obsessive coverage this news is getting all over India.

Mumbai, June. 11 (PTI): Bollywood "Item girl" Rakhi Sawant, who was recently in news for alleged obscenity during her stage show at Kolhapur in western Maharashtra, has accused Mika, brother of pop singer Daler Mehendi, of molesting her at a private function here early today, police said.

The infamous kiss is here:


I have this pet theory that the society is going to the dumps, if people become more important than the issues it faces.

No sir, we have'nt solved the AIDS problem and also we dont have clue about the problem of female infanticide, why are we wasting out time talking to you? Let's get back to the telly, Famous Khan has been spotted coming out of Slutty Chopra's house.

I just hope that I don't sound like a ol'fart when I say "These are the end of the times". Well it has happened before, Romans were busy in their orgies when they were overthrown, Moguls were taking communal showers in bath houses when their palaces were cleaned out by British.

This media whoring is pretty common in North America, heck more people voted for American idol than thier presidential polls. The missing white girl Hathaway got 24 hour coverage for more than 100 days. These countries can afford this indulgence in their stupidity, But Can India? Let's ask the striking doctors in AIIMS, the rickshaw puller on the sidewalks of Bombay, the farmer buying pesticide to commit suicide and the prostitute dying with AIDS in a damp and dark corner reeking with urine in a brothel.

Soccer world cup!

I have also caught this world cup fever and the prognosis I prescribed myself is a heavy dose of soccer. I watched all the six matches this weekend, and I loved all of them. The match i liked the most is the one played between Trinidad and Sweden. Trinidad played awesome defense and didn't allow Sweden any goal. It ended up as a draw and it was wonderful. I was for a second in football heaven and found it to be a bit crowded with other 300 mil people in it, enjoying every bit of it.

I haven't realised how many bitter people are there in this world until I read this blog. The writer is a socialist who thinks that world cup is the manifestation of capitalists on the third world to divert the third world from the real problems they are facing. I sat there with my eyes popping out and thinking how stupid people can think and how outlandish the theories can be.

I read a news that In Somalia, which is torn by the civil strife, there has been no reports of fighting or killing since the world cup has started. The warring groups are staying back at their homes and lapping up all the foot ball they get thier eyes on. The only argument is on wether Ronaldo's kick is better than Beckam's or wether how many years will it take for a African team to wrestle the cup from South America.

For me Sports are the ultimate uniters. If world cup makes Iraq more safe, then heck why not? If Cricket makes Indians and Pakistanis tolerate each other for few days, why not? If Hockey makes Canada and USA forget about their beer wars, who are you to say No?

Happy world cupping everyone!

A Strange sight!

I was coming out of a parking lot today, there was this Mazda just in front of me. The dude was struggling with the complicated technology of feeding the ticket to the parking lot gate. Suddenly, I noticed something strange, Nimbus (lemons) stringed to a thread and hung on the number plate! "what" I exclaimed, a fellow desi, that too from south India!

I asked my friend to take a picture, and she did, here is the picture.



I just can imagine the smirks on the faces on cops, if they happen to stop him!

This is very common practice in Andhra pradesh, I remember whenever we bought any vehicle, my whole family used to go to the Temple of Ganesha and pray. The priest used string up few lemons and tie it to the vehicle.

I still remember the day I bought my bicycle. I was made to crush a Nimbu, with vermilion stuffed in it, with my front wheel symbolising a sacrifice. Crazy shit, So my piece of cheap ass bicycle is supposed to be blood thirsty monster to be appeased? If it were a monster, would it be happy by this lame sacrifice of a lemon? At least your first born puppy should be offered to my bicycle.

We are a superstitious bunch, aren't we?

Sankes on a MotherFarking Plane

That's one Motherfarking movie I am waiting for. Yep, you heard it right, this the title of a real movie which is being scheduled to be released on August 18th, and already I have stared marking the days left on the wall by my toilet.

Snakes on plane became an Internet meme overnight and built a cult following even without releasing a shot. All we junkies needed was the title. One interesting tit-bit is the fans were expecting to Jackson to yell " We got Motherfarking snakes" into the radio, The studio resisted it , cause they wanted to get under 14 rating. The fans protested, sat in protest before the studios, slept naked before Jackson's home. Who ever said smelly naked geeks don't make difference should wake and smell the nearest geek.



Yes, my dear snake and plane nerds, Samuel L. Jackson will be flying a plane full snakes in to a theater near you. Fark.com, the place I hang out is holding release parties all over North America, were we would be watching some snakes on the plane and some good ol' fun in a watering hole nearby. Too bad there is no party in Calgary, but there is one in Edmonton. I am so there, can't wait for my snakes served on a plane!

Do check this website to see if there is a "Snakes on a MotherFarking Plane" party in your city.

Lonely at the top

“Elitism - It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.”

-Larry Kersten quotes (American Sociologist and Author. )

I got an email with this very heading, "lonely at the top" from a very good friend asking me to work with him again, as I used to work with him a lot. He is the president of a non-profit organization doing awesome work.

I was shocked by the subject line, well, if he wants me work with him again, why is he gloating that he is at the top and is lonely? Or does he want me to join at the top as it's getting lonely there, but isn't there place for one at the top? If there was room for more than one, it's not "the top" any more, isn't it?

May be, he didn't know the context and he was using it, that doesn't bode well for him too. I always associated the phrase "lonely at the top" as being elitist. I have never associated him with being elitist, he is a very nice person, a very down to earth.

I think he just doesn't know how much baggage this phrase carries around. I were you, my lonely friend, I would let my cronies crow how I am lonely at the top!

I am sure your organization wouldn't end up like this with you at the top, you know I am joking.

Convocation Speeches

I went to my friend's convocation yesterday at the University of Calgary. László Lovász, a world leading "Graph Theorist" was the guest of honour. He is from Hungary and worked in Harvard and MIT and the likes. He is at present in Microsoft research. An amazing personality, he talked about how mathematics is important in everyday life and no one should be afraid of it.

László Lovász

His main interests are Graph theory and complexity of information. He went on to talk about his life behind the Iron curtain and under authoritarian regimes, and how freedom and democracy are important for growth of science, couldn't agree more.

Speaking of Convocation speakers, While I was going to school in Indian School of Mines, the Guest of Honour was no other than Abdul Kalam, the present president of India. He was then chief scientific advisor to the Prime Minister of India. He flew in an Indian Air Force chetak Helicopter, and landed in our ground near by. He stepped out of his helicopter with his trademark smile.

President Abdul Kalam

His speech was absolutely brilliant. He recited verses from Bhagvadgita and quoted Tiruvalluvar, his favourite Tamil poet. He wanted the young engineers and scientists graduating to work for the progress of India.

Well, Sorry President sir, I have always been a disappointment.

On Taking Criticism

I frequent this discussion board, where one of the dudes put up his picture with orange overalls. Someone commented that those overalls were very gay and turning him off. It was made very clear that it was joke more than once.

Here is the picture, which I thought was very gay too...



Well, the dude didn't take it as a joke and started insulting this person who made the gay comment. The whole board jumped against this person and it was a gore fest out there within no time.

The point is, why can't anyone take a joke ? Why do they get their panties in a bunch and wrinkle them to pantie hell? If you had the gumption to wear Orange Overalls to a dance club , why would you get upset over someones comments about them being gay?

But generally, I have realised that I started accepting criticism with an open mind. I don't get offensive, abusive,defensive and insecure anymore when someone corrects me or points out the red underwear I wore on my stretch pants ala Superman. May be a side effect of growing up and getting a life. I guess, I have accepted that there are various opinions in this world and yours is the one which is usually wrong.

Seriously, people should grow a funny bone or stop wrinkiling thier panties (better, stop wearing them) and make this a world a better place (well, stop using cliches would work too!).

Greeters in Wal-Mart

I was in Wal-Mart today and was greeted by a smiley elderly lady "How you doing?". I would have said "Good, how about yourself?" and walked away towards the cereal section. But I stood there by their entrance wondering, why does Wal-Mart pay a person, albeit minimum wage to stand at the entrance greeting all those pass through those automatic doors. Wal-Mart wouldn't be paying minimum wage, without any benefits if there is no tangible ( read a monetary) benefit.

A wal-mart greeter

What could be the benefit though, I have searched the best I could and found that Greeters are not that friendly of what they are supposed to be.

She came up with the idea of posting an employee at the door to check shoppers' items. Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville wasn't willing at the time to pay an employee just to do that job, Richard said, so she suggested employees take turns volunteering a half-hour each day without pay

The Morning News :: Wal - Mart Page

So in other words there are security guards masquerading as greeters, with a disarming smile. But what is funny is they are usually senior citizens. But, I cant imagine a grand ma chasing a pimply faced teenager with a DVD of Star Trek hidden under his T-shirt.

I am going to be implanted with a chip!

LiveScience.com - Proposal to Implant Tracking Chips in Immigrants

" Responding to the Bush administration's call to know "who is in our country and why they are here," he proposed using VeriChip RFID implants to register workers at the border, and then verify their identities in the workplace. He added, "We have talked to many people in Washington about using it...."

Wouldn't that be something to call home about (pun intended)? Getting implanted with a RFID tag, which would track me where ever I go, what ever I do, judge me on whom I meet, grimace the way I eat and remind to call my mum? I do travel to US often, for conferences and pleasure . Now I am worried and I dont fancy to be branded and tracked, is this what the Land of the free and brave has come to?

Sir Orwell, your 1984 caught up with us in 2006. BTW, it just took us 12 years to prove you right, and you were worried that 1984 would never happen.



Free enough to tag every foreigner and brave enough to be afraid of every one with different (TM) colour skin? Well, this has been done in Europe in 30s and 40s and we all know how well it worked. I guess we will have designated areas for all "branded" to live, oh yeah for our safety and convenience.

If only I could I would never travel to USA again, but It's the country which is forefront of everything, where innovation happens, where Future is made and I want to be the part of the dream. I don't want to be robbed of my share of destiny just because I was born in a different country.

I don't want to be greeted at the Border with "How do you feel to be branded?" I want to be greeted with "Welcome to USA, land the free and brave!"