Suicide

Is committing suicide a ultimate form of courage or cowardice? I don’t know, but let me think through whole of this phenomenon and may be by the end of this exercise, I may have some insights (yeah sure!)

Every one portrays suicide as an act of cowardice, if I meet someone who would say so, my only question to me was have you ever stared into the eyes of death? I did once I can tell you its one of the prettiest sights. Your body’s primary instinct is to survive so it will fight very hard to survive. I was swimming with my friends and on of friends felt that he was drowning and started splashing around and his hand found my hair, he held it very tight and stared dragging me int the water. I started gasping too, I fought him hard I even swallowed lot of water. I was feeling lot of different things at the same time. I was panicking, I was angry at that dude; I was feeling sorry for my mum, dad and my sister. I fought hard tried to free myself and suddenly some grabbed me by another tuft of hair and pulled me out.

That was no fun at all. To put it mildly, I wouldn’t want to go through that ordeal once more. If one commits a suicide s/he must be absolutely driven to the wall to this ultimate step. Suicide bombers have been the desperate choices of terrorist organizations world wide. Kids al young as 14 years old have blo0wn themselves up. Are they cowards? No I don’t think so, are they brave may be but brainwashed for sure. I saw a freaky show the other day on TV. CBC was showing a documentary on how Hamas brainwashes kids starting with the four year olds. Scary stuff!

I have a couple of encounters with suicides. One summer I was spending a weekend at my aunt’s place. I woke on and peered through the window to find a girl hung the balcony of neighbor’s house. I was around 12 years old. I was so scared that I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t understand the whole concept of this suicide then. I was so confused that I didn’t even ask any one any question. The other incident was near my school. Our school was located near a busy railway intersection one evening while coming from school I saw a big crowd around the tracks, I casually went and looked someone committed suicide by placing his neck on the tracks. I saw his severed head. Most gory sight I have ever seen.

So my question again, do you need to be courageous to commit a suicide? Yes. If you are so courageous then why don’t you face the problems in this world? I don’t know, I haven’t read any studies done on suicides. There must tomes of research on this. I even read somewhere that there is suicide gene, which makes one to take his or her life.

Well as always I never have an answer, my jury is always hung and my quest never ends.